August 6th, 2017
Changing your emotions by acting the opposite way
- Do that what you are afraid of.. AGAIN, AGAIN,AND AGAIN.
- Approach events, places tasks, activities, and or people that you fear.
- DO things that give you a feeling of CONTROL and COMPETENCE.
- When you feel overwhelmed, make a list with small steps you can do. Then DO THE FIRST THING ON THE LIST.
When either of them emotions is correct for the situation.
- CORRECT what you did wrong.
- Say that you are sorry; APOLOGIZE.
- FIX THINGS; Do something nice for the person you have hurt or if that’s not possible, for someone else.
- ATTEMPT not to make the same mistake again in the future.
- ACCEPT the consequences with elegance
- LET IT GO after.
When the emotions are not correct for the situation.
- Do that what made you feel guilty or ashamed AGAIN, AGAIN AND AGAIN.
- APPROACH these situations. do NOT AVOID.
- Become ACTIVE, APPROACH, do NOT AVOID.
- Do things that give you a feeling of COMPETENCE AND SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Anger
- AVOID the person you are angry at carefully, instead of attacking him/her.
- AVOID thinking about the situation and person.
- Do something NICE instead of something mean and attacking.
- Imagine your SYMPATHY AND EMPATHY for the other person instead of blame.
Posted by Danielle | Emotion Regulation | Comment |
August 4th, 2017
I lied to you,
When I told you that I love you,
And when I said I would for as long as I live.
It’s not true,
Because I don’t just love you,
What I feel is so much more then that.
There just are no other words that will do.
Because,
You are my soul mate,
I will love you always,
Beyond the stars and the moon.
And I will find you again and again.
Luna, (D.S) august 4 2017 9:58 am
Posted by Danielle | Love Poems, News | Comment |
August 4th, 2017
This is one of the chapters I was having a lot of issues with to understand. I finally now get it on my third cycle of this therapy. Another chapter down.
Letting go of emotional suffering:
Pay attention to the emotion of the moment.
Observe your emotion.
- BE AWARE of the presence of the emotion.
- Take a step BACK.
- MAKE yourself LOOSE from the emotion
- Like a WAVE that comes and goes.
- DON’T try to BLOCK the emotion.
- DON’T try to SUPPRESS the emotion.
- DON’T try to get RID of the emotion.
- DON’T PUSH the emotion AWAY.
- DON’T try to KEEP the emotion with you.
- DON’T try to HOLD ON to the emotion.
- DON’T FEED into the emotion.
Remember: You are not your emotion.
- DON’T ACT necessarily ONTO the emotions.
- REMEMBER times that you felt DIFFERENT.
Train yourself in loving your emotion
- – DON’T JUDGE about your emotion ( you ARE ALLOWED to feel how you feel, IT IS OK)
- Practice READINESS/WILLINGNESS.
- ACCEPT your emotion RADICALLY
Posted by Danielle | Emotion Regulation | Comment |
August 4th, 2017
Emotion Regulation 8 is a list of things you can do as an adult that brings you joy.
The list in my book contains 176 things and I wont list them all here but I will make a shorter list because some things are just making me go like huh? And other things on the list are pretty much the same. So this will be a list put together with things from the list in my book. NOT my personal choices of what I like to do for myself that will give me joy.
- Taking a bath or shower.
- Collecting things (coins, stamps etc).
- Going on a vacation, long weekend or just a day or an evening out.
- Going on a date or spending time with friends.
- Recycling things or repairing them so they can be used again.
- Going to the movies, dancing, a party etc etc.
- Listening to music.
- Shopping.
- Enjoying the weather outside while you take a walk or sit in the sun.
- Reading a book, magazine, newspaper etc etc.
- Meeting new people.
- Cooking and eating something new.
- Sport, that could be just any sport really.
- Fixing your car, bike, motorcycle etc.
- Dressing up to go out, doing your hair and make-up.
- Having a relaxed evening just watching tv.
- Thinking back on a nice day.
- Swimming, skating etc.
- Camping, hunting, bbq.
- Needle working.
- Singing in choir, playing on a musical instrument.
- Making a gift for someone.
- Making a phone call with a friend or family.
- Driving around in your car, or on your bike.
- Making pictures, writing poetry, painting etc etc.
- Going out for diner, lunch or breakfast alone or with a friend.
- Meditation.
- Getting a massage.
- Talking with friends.
- Making jigsaws.
- Doing/trying something new, a hobby or sport.
- Doing volunteer work.
Posted by Danielle | Emotion Regulation | Comment |
July 31st, 2017
I know, unintentional abuse is still abuse. Emotional abuse, is still abuse as well. Learning to control my emotions by learning patience and emotion regulation is very important but also very difficult for me.
Having
C-PTSD, I know what emotional pain feels like, The fear the, pain, the anger etc etc. I know hurting other people is bad. I will try to explain what happens, note that this is a really not an excuse for me to be allowed to hurt anyone. Its the reason why it happens. It doesn’t make it right And it doesn’t mean that I can accept it from myself either, but I would like to explain it a little bit.
When I am in a normal state of mind I am reasonable and I would never do or say anything to hurt anyone. My traumas cause that I can be over flooded with emotions. More and intenser then I can handle, they are traumas from my past. The fear and pain is very real. They stem from real experiences. I have been hurt, I have been abandoned, I have been neglected, I have been sexually abused, etc etc. Its mostly emotional flashbacks that cause this. My traumas are overlapping each other and it becomes very difficult to sort out what caused it often that I respond so strongly. If I knew what caused it right away and can lead back the emotion to its origin then I can compare it with the current situation and work on dealing with the current situation in the right manner. I understand often that what I feel is not accurate with the current situation.
What I don’t know is how to respond anymore because of being overwhelmed. I have said things to people while in my mind I was only trying to protect, defend and stand up for myself. I was hurt, mostly by people I was supposed to trust. I am mostly triggered by those people for that reason. Other people can trigger me too but it will have less effect on them because I keep distant more from them than from people that I care about. So I will easier get into a situation that triggers me with people that I care about then people that I don’t care about. Logic wise its easier to regulate my emotions when its a child who triggered me or when its an adult person. I wish I could explain this better.
Some people are for me an almost constant trigger. That being said should tell you that I feel really horrible, and it hurts me very much knowing that I hurt other people. I am working very hard to stop my own abuse and to heal myself from my traumas. And, intentionally or not, it is still abuse. It is very hard for me to forgive myself and that too is part of my healing and something I am working on. Now last but not least. I am really sorry for hurting anyone, I know these people love(d) me and I hope they can forgive me. I also want to apologize to the people who love the persons I have hurt, other then myself, I am sorry.
Posted by Danielle | News | Comment |
