I am brave and courageous. Whatever gets me down won’t keep me down for long. It is okay to cry and to feel not ok. I knew this battle was not going to be easy and that there would be setbacks. Tomorrow I will feel better and try again. I am amazing and beautiful. I am strong and worth loving and I am proud of myself.

You too are brave and courageous, as long as you don’t give up you haven’t lost the battle. You too are beautiful and worth loving. Accept that you are not perfect and you do not have to be. Know that your battle is not easy and that there will be setbacks. I’m proud of you because you are trying. Be proud of yourself because you deserve that.

Someone once told me that the children of a person who does wrong are the ones that are punished for it. And it’s true. They will have to deal with the bad name you have created for the family name. They will have to deal with the example you gave them. They will have to heal from the wounds you left them with. They will have to live with the scares and the aftermath.

Look at it even globally, what our ancestors left behind, is what we inherit. The sad racist situation that has been created and seems to be so difficult to change. That is not only because of it not over but also because it, of course, created a chain reaction. You don’t create love with hate. with hate, you created more hate.

And closer to home this lesson I was taught this is just as true. My own children have to deal with the aftermath of decisions I have made. So will the children of everyone else. Genetically we pass on a lot more then we realize just as well. Our traumas for example.

We need to heal ourselves to give our children the strength they need and to be better people then we where. We need to give them the best of ourselves that we can. Not a simple task when you realize that so many people in this world are traumatized beyond belief. It’s hard to react in a healthy way to a bad situation when you are traumatized.

I honestly have responded very badly myself too many times. Fear and also not knowing how to deal and act on things or being able to communicate that through well has been big issues for me.

Beautiful half-blood partial Lunar Eclipse was in the sky last night. I was too tired to stay up for it but when fireworks woke me at midnight I immediately remembered the event and went to take a look at the moon. It was a beautiful sight but have not been able to make any decent pictures. The sky was completely clear and it was amazing to see. <3

I have been going this week and particularly the last few days through some major healing. That causes me to be extremely exhausted and with my lack of sleep, it had its drawbacks that resulted in nightmares and waking up with panic attacks and anxiety again. I am going to need to slow down a little on this and give my self a break before it results in a burnout. I definitely don’t need that.

This is what I focus on and what matters. No matter what anyone else says or does. I know me, I know what I am about and who I am. So do my children. NO its not called selfish, its called selfcare! <3 You do you, I do me.