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Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Streaming N crafting

Friday, February 5th, 2021

A few days ago I did an unboxing stream on my twitch channel. It was the first of a live stream that’s related to my crafting. I am planning to start doing crafting streams once I have my Elgato and a new webcam.

What did I unbox? I unboxed Pergamano crafting supplies. This was my Christmas gift of 2020 from a very sweet and thoughtful man. After he learned I had lost my crafting supplies a long time ago, he realized how much this has meant to me he told me that he wanted to replace these materials and tools for me. So he sends me on a shopping-spree online (since we have a lock-down and everything is closed) and I came home with like 500 euros worth of crafting supplies!

Finally delivered after a bunch of delays due to Brexit, covid, and out of stock of certain items. So when these items finally arrived I did an unboxing stream. Now I finally can get back into my crafting again! I love this man so much! <3

Perhaps now my last post also makes more sense after you read this one if you had not understood it yet, altho there’s a lot more meaning in it than just a replacement of my crafting tools. Pergamano crafting has been so soothing and calming for me. I can make beautiful things with it and I enjoy the time spend while crafting.

I hope to see you in one of my streams someday when I’m crafting (or gaming). My stream channel is at twitch.tv/lunatearz

Hugs to all and Much love and thanks to Ali!


Everything you love,

Monday, January 25th, 2021


This is a quote that helps me a lot in my healing journey and I can find true meaning for myself. Especially now today for reason I don’t wish to share. That why I want to share this today here. It’s by Franz Kafka who was a novelist and short-story writer, he never married and never had children. He lived from 1883 until 1924.

When he was 40, he was strolling through Steglitz Park in Berlin, when he met a young girl crying her eyes out because she had lost her doll. Together they looked for the doll without success. Then Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would look again for the doll.

The next day, they still didn’t found the doll and Kafka gave the girl a letter that was supposedly written by the doll that said, “Please do not cry. I have gone on a trip to see the world. I’m going to write to you about my adventures.”  

That was the beginning of a story that continued to the end of Kafka’s life. 

Every time when Kafka and the girl would meet, Kafka read aloud his carefully composed letters of adventures and conversations about the doll, which the girl loved. Finally, Kafka read her a letter where the doll tells them she had come back to Berlin and he gave her a doll he had bought for her. “This does not look at all like my doll,” the girl said. Kafka handed her another letter that was reading: “My trips, they have changed me.” The girl then hugged the new doll and took it home with her.  

Many years later, the now grown-up girl found a letter tucked into an unnoticed crevice in the doll. The tiny letter, signed by Kafka, said, “Everything you love is very likely to be lost, but in the end, love will return in a different way.”

This story, this quote, tells me about replacing a love that’s lost and within my last relationship, I found so much truth in this that I was reminded about this quote and story. The love this man has given me has proven to be very healing. I feel blessed that we met. Thank you, Ali


How do you explain?

Sunday, December 13th, 2020

How do you explain C-PTSD to another person? How do you explain the feelings that come with it when you yourself have no idea how to even call all the emotions that are running rampage through your body.

How do you explain to someone that just because another person who also happens to have C-PTSD and who appears to be very successful in certain areas that’, that doesn’t mean that you are supposed to be capable of these things too?

How do you explain what’s going on with you when you have to focus on keeping your reactions under control because your in the middle of an episode.

Partners, family, and friends of people with trauma, physically or mentally please do your research, talk about it with your partner, and be patient. And to those with the trauma, be patient with your partner. It IS hard to understand often because they don’t feel what you feel. they have not gone through and are not going through what you feel.

Some may have wondered if I am going to give the answer to the questions I have asked in this article, but I can’t. One person is not the other and your trauma is not mine. Some people are more open and willing to learn about another person’s trauma than another.

Some people are more empathic and understanding than others. Sometimes we just need to accept that we don’t understand something and simply accept what the other person is saying. You don’t always need to understand it. Just being there and listening and making the other person feel heard and not alone means a lot already.

What we feel is only for ourselves to feel. We have no right to tell another person how to feel. How we act on how we feel is our own responsibility and we have no right to blame another person for our own behavior. That being said, an action usually causes a reaction, we are all human keep that in mind and most of all just be mindful overall.


A lasting road

Monday, August 31st, 2020
Paving the path, stone by stone
This time though, not alone

When it gets dark you light the path
When I lose count you do the math

Stones that are too big we split,
To make it work, to make it fit

Someone to help carry the load
Working together to make it a lasting road.

D.S. August 31 2020 5:56 PM

A Gemini Lioness

Saturday, August 15th, 2020

In the last few months, I have been focussing on my lil family, myself, and my healing. I have been focussed hard. I have worked hard and I am proud of myself.. Ofcourse there still are the bad days. They always will be there. Everyone has bad days and so will I. What has changed is that my bad days are less bad. I can contain whatever I have to deal with, triggers, anxiety disociating etc, a lot better then before.

To reach this, a certain number of changes took place in my life. I’m streaming now on Twitch my games and sometimes while wearing one of my cosplay outfits since the Comic Cons are all canceled dueto the worldwide Corona Pandemic. The success I reached so far while streaming has amazed me.

I’ve met so many great people in my stream and making new friends who actively have been supporting me personally and my stream. Especially this part has been lifting me up and accelerated my healing. Having people in my life that I form healthy relationships and friendships with is exactly what I need in my life to be able to heal further than I already have. And that is exactly what’s happening right now! I’m so grateful even tho I do realize the work I do for that myself. Allowing these people and accepting these friendships seems for a lot of people no biggie but for me its grand.

Of course, the beautiful warm weather we have here now (ugh tropical heatwave) helped as well. Yeah, I don’t like sweat dripping down my back and feeling sticky every time I move either. The sunlight though is very good for my well being.

This is where a lioness is at its best in the shades surrounded by the dry monsoon watching over her cubs while her king rules. He ensures she can do whatever she needs to. And she is grateful. She returns to him with loyalty and the treasures of her hunts. It pleases the King to see his Lioness so content.

A Lioness? But wait a minute am I not a Gemini? Oh yes, I still am very much a Gemini in heart, mind, body, and soul BUT with this Monsoon I talked about before that we are having now, a wonderful man came into my life. More than just a man, more than just a friend more than just a King. He’s the calm to my storm, the balance of my scale, the keeper of my heart. I love you Ali! <3

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