I wanted to keep my blog up to date kinda and decided to upload the pictures of my  weekend away on 19- 21 september.

For a while I had been thinking to just go a weekend away on my own to put some thoughts in my head at ease and relax and last but not least have a nice stress free weekend. The problem was where was I going to spend that weekend at. I did not wanted to trigger memories that would stress me so certain areas where just off limits. One place where I have not  been and where I liked to go was Scheveningen. Its a  town at the coast of Holland directly at the Sea. Naturally I wanted to have a nice luxury hotel directly or very close to the beach since i have no other transportation then public transportation and my own legs. After checking websites for a week or so I came to conclusion that Scheveningen was just going to be too expensive, especially because the hotel I had let my eye fall on was top notch. Nothing wrong with that except that I didnt wnated to trigger any feelings of guilt neither.. because that would stress me out too.. And the plan was to relax.

So after some more browsing and surfing and a few days thinking I decided to go to Egmond aan zee . Hotel Zuiderduin is a 4 star hotel with a pool, wellness center, and nearby the beach. Breakfast was included and it was very affordable. My double room had a bath and shower and was on the second floor. Unfortunately my view was the parking lot. Oh well, can’t have it all right?

My weekend was awesome. The weather was great and I enjoyed my time  away a lot. Sure, I missed the family at home but we talked online  in the evening with video chat so that was taken care of as well. Dining alone was a little bit odd so the first evening I ate a pancake at a terrace directly at the beach. It tasted marvelous with a glass of whine and the view, my first evening went well. Back at the hotel I took a nice long bath n read my book, scrubbed my skin and  put on a face mask. After my own little wellness evening I was like reborn.. I sleep well and the very next morning I got up at 9, took the time to wake up and get dressed to go downstairs for breakfast.

The breakfast was ok but after the amazing breakfast we had in the 5 star hotel Kapinsky in Budapest it seemed a tat poor. That was however a price winning breakfast in international competition, so really, I was spoiled there with that and to compare them was a little bit unfair. However it did tasted well and after breakfast I went back to my room to get ready to spend a day outdoors, walking the beach, making lots of pictures of the sea and the lighthouse and visiting the little town where I was staying. After a wonderful sunny day I decided to have a real diner in a nice restaurant this time. Restaurant La chatelaine in Egmond aan zee I would really recommend if you ever may visit that town.

I went checking out all the restaurants and went to small and cozy restaurant where they served a very fine steak with again a nice glass of whine. I skipped dessert and after a short walk on the beach I went back to the hotel and had some video chat with little one and hubby. Not too long because again I created a wellness evening for myself with reading a book in bath, scrubbing my skin and a nice face mask again. After reading some more in bed I went to sleep. This time I did not sleep very well and I was glad when the morning came. Another nice breakfast before I checked out and a walk on the beach. This last day, sunday the wind was a little stronger and the waves a lot higher. I saw people kite surfing today which was kinda cool.

When my ears where cold from the wind, I walked back to the town and after buying something I had seen the day before I went back to the hotel to pick up my suitcase. And like 1 and a half hour later I was back home again in Amsterdam.

Many times I can not even talk to my best friends and family about things that are happening or have been happening in my life, simply because it will change their view on people and that includes myself. Not because I am ashamed of them or because they are secrets. I’m hiding things and keeping things to myself because others are involved in these things and   that I am not sure they can understand them. To be judged because of those things by people that  don’t understand the impact of these things on my life or others life’s is not something I seek for either.. It makes one feel very lonely not being able to be who you are because you want to and even have to protect yourself and others. A simply and sincere how are you doing, I often can not answer honestly for this reason.. Its a difficult choice to make because it feels like betrayal not to be honest and which makes it also hard to be real friends or close to people. So I most times keep a distance just so I don’t have to lie. One reason why I can not always blog when I wish I could and why I have not blogged for a long time. Since my blog is  for me to express myself which I feel often blocked in. Either by myself, circumstances, friends or family.

Dear visitors, if there even are any left. I have not been posting for a long time now. The reason of this is simple. I am dealing with personal problems and I just haven’t been feeling like posting anything at all. I will be fine, there is no reason for worry. Just not in the mood for blogging. Take care, I hope to be back soon.

Since a few years I am participating in marketing research tests. I have signed up with several research companies who basically deliver the people who participate in the research. Sometimes these companies also do the tests and just deliver the results to these companies. As you can guess it are usually the bigger companies who do such researches. Most times it is much fun to do because you get insight on newer products, you hear other peoples experiences and opinions on things, you get to go to all sorts of places and meet all kinds of people and even try out new products often, plus I get paid for these researches. This week I had been invited to participate in a research for Mc Donalds. It was nearby home so I went on my bike which saved me transportation costs. Especially at this time of the year a little extra in the wallet is always welcome.

We did not get to test a new product this time, it was like an opinion research on the franchise it self compared to other fast food restaurants. With three research groups of 4 people there was a total of 12 participants. We all sat down in the lunchroom of the headquarters of Mc Donalds marketing team where we where asked for our opinions. I personally am a big fan of Subway but after this research project I came to admit that the menu of subways is kind of boring and that its more expensive then Mc Donalds. At the other hand the quality of the food that Mc Donalds serves is below the quality of the other fastfood restaurants, as all the participants in my group agreed on. The hamburgers from Burger King scored better in our opinion and Subway and KFC and PizzaHut are different kind of fastfood restaurants with a different product so they where harder to compare with Mc Donalds.

At the end of the evening we all received our payment of 35 Euros and a little extra gift of 4 coupons for a free sandwich at Mc Donalds. Thanks Huitema

Since I don’t think I will be writing anymore this year I would like to wish one and all a very merry Christmas and all the best for 2015!!!

Its the season again of lights, gifts, trees, balls, good food, tears and smiles. Here in Holland we had our first big children Holiday all rdy It was surprisingly a nice n happy day for everyone, Yeah I said surprisingly because with a teenager in the house its not always peace n sunshine.

The past year has been full of ups and downs and changes, losses, successes and experiences. Last year around this time we where getting ready to go to Venezuela to spend Christmas and the New Year there. Quite an experience I like to say. Then a season later, spring, we spend a few days in a 5 star Hotel in Budapest, a little trip I won on facebook by Spa & fruit. Loved Budapest and really would like to do that again but 5 star hotel, not sure if we can pull that one but perhaps another hotel will work as well.

In The summer we spend a week at my moms and especially our dog really loved that. Yeah our dog, the newest part of our family, this cute lil brat of a Westy, love him loads. Always wanted a dog and I m glad  we found Silver. And finally in October we spend a week in Portugal to visit the rest of Antonio’s family not only could I meet them finally, but They would also see Anarosa for the first time.

I have been making a little newspaper this year which I have turned into other peoples hands now because it gave me too much stress since I was basically do it on my own.

Anarosa went to preschool this week for the first time and well, in short, that was our year.