If you really must speak the truth, then speak the truth to the person that you talk about behind their back. Especially when you are talking in a bad or negative manner.

Not always when people talk about someone else it is in a negative manner, you can talk about someone in a positive manner just as easily. You could talk about something they handled well or that this person is good at, the difference is that this is more of a compliment that you would normally not have a problem with saying to this person its about. and that is the big difference, when people talk bad about someone and when that’s only behind their back then you should start questioning yourself why you are doing this because it says more about you then the person you talk about.

It is not per definition bad to talk about someone, we all need to vent and get things off our back sometimes, just remember that at all times you are representing yourself in the first place and not the other person.

There are three general motives behind people talking bad about another person. 1. They’re talking with someone to solve a problem they’re having with the individual, but lack the skill to do it in a kind way. 2. They want to discredit the other person, or cause harm to the other person. Their motive is to hurt, or they feel they must defend themselves from hurt, so they hurt first. 3. They want to be accepted, so they find common humor, evil, etc. to talk about to make themselves feel better.

The first group: They talk about the problem, may go into detail, may exaggerate a little, but their motive is mainly to get an idea of how to solve the problem, and not to hurt the other person. They may talk inappropriately, or in a way that may leave a negative light on the person they’re talking about, but its not hateful.

The second group: People who talk bad about another person to cause harm: They seem to feel like you have some major impact in their life, and they are scared of you. For example, a friend who feels like her life is determined by how much boys like her will often bad mouth another girl who the boys like more than her – or that she thinks they like more than her. She does this because she feels like she must manipulate the people around her to stay safe. If she took responsibility for her own actions, and her own ability to change, to act, she wouldn’t feel so threatened by other people. So usually, people who talk maliciously are really very terrified people. They feel they must manipulate the people around them to be safe. They don’t start by changing their own actions and choosing how they feel, they let life around them tell them who they are. Its a very threatened place to live.

Third group:
They people are a combination of the two categories above. They talk about others because they have nothing better to do. They just talk without considering the people or friendships that will be damaged, its just entertainment.

Just be aware that often the gossip will end up unintentionally eventually in the ear of the person who was subject of this gossip. Knowing already what lays behind the gossiping it should not be a surprise that this often leads to lies and denial of what was said, trying to keep up there own status and trying to make that other person look even worse. Depending on the environment this has happened and who have been involved that it can damage not only you or the person you spoke about but it can damage the organisation you represent as well.

sources: wiki.answers 2knowmyself.com

OMG I so love eating roti once every so often. I grew up in a small town in the country and my neighbours where hindustani. Very friendly kind people, I would almost say its like they where family. They had 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls. The youngest was just a little younger then me and we used to play together when we where young. My brother was hanging out with the boys a lot and many times we had diner there. So I sort of grew up with roti all be it not daily. Our neighbour was a great cook, at least I like to think so. And in all those years since I have moved away and did not had a meal at their house any more I never have eaten such a good roti with chicken anymore. Untill I found out about Roopram roti in Amsterdam.

I don’t give free advertisement and I don’t give false advertisement, I am not gonna say something is good when I don’t think it is, and I certainly won’t say something is the best if it is not.  If you mess up and are being a total dork I will tell you and if you are wonderful and amazing I will be the first one to tell you, and it this case I did not only told them they where great but I am even blogging about it. So to everyone out there who is reading this, Rooprams roti in Amsterdam has the best  roti ever. How do I know? Well every so often when I walked past a restaurant that sold roti and where it smelled pretty good, I just walked in and tried it out to never return there again cause the roti they served was just not what I  was used to I even have tried my own hands at it and although it was not bad it  was again, not what I was used to.. Was I spoiled?  Haha but I could not imagine there was not anywhere else where they would have such good food so I kept searching. And when I finally moved to Amsterdam I went to the Dappermarket  (if you are from Amsterdam you know what I talk about.) and there was again another place selling roti. Rooprams roti it was called. I passed by there a few times and kept thinking every time about trying it out, but you see, I dont like being disappointed so it took a while before I finally went inside. There was always a long row of ppl standing till outside even so it had to be good right? that’s how I convinced myself.

That guy in the white shirt, yeah you are right that’s where the end of the line was at the time that this picture was taken. And from the lights on the ceiling you can tell how much further inside you can go and with that how long that line must be.

That day I had been at the park with Merel my oldest daughter and this was long before I meet Antonio. It was as usual very bussy so as I say I went inside I should say I joined the line on the sidewalk and no I am not kidding. I am serious. I joined the line at the sidewalk. Once I was finally inside, still in the line though, I looked around. the place did not looked too fancy,  old bar chairs and cheap kitchen tables, the plates where people where eating from did not match even but they all seem to enjoy the food a lot. The place was clean, the man behind the bar who just took the orders and where you paid was kind, serious, helpful but did not waste time, he couldn’t its always busy there and hungry people are not the nicest. I know so because I am not nice when I am hungry. Anyhow now I was still standing there in line , had ordered my meal and paid for it. Then finally there it was. I took it home because if it was a disappointment, I didn’t wanted everyone to know it.

And here’s my meal roti chicken with  potatoes and kouseband. the red stuff you see  on the chicken is sambal, a pepper sauce that I don’t use on it. I am thinking the person already had eaten some looking at how little chicken was left  I found this pic on the web somewhere and simply stole it:P  I am sure they don’t mind. I have no clue who made it and where it came from so if you recognize your picture, let me know and I give you proper credit.

On the way home I stopped at mcDonalds for my daughter because she, I was sure, would most definitely, not like roti with chicken. So we picked up a happy meal and moved on. At home I couldn’t wait to eat. I was hungry and it smelled so good. And it was good, no wait it wasnt good that would not give proper credit to my delicious meal. It was the best, the best I ever had since my neighbours roti. So if you are ever in Amsterdam and like roti please by all means stop by at Roomrams roti , Eerste van Swindenstraat 4 in Amsterdam near the  Oosterpark .

And you know what, I am not the only one who likes it and writes about it. I found this post during a random surfing session on the web.

Yes 100.000’s of hotmail accounts have been compromised. I know its old news but today we where affected by this personally and realized how real it is.

I was reading my email and got an email from my husband. O.o I was like O.o why would he send me an email? I checked the address and yes it was from him. I opened it and read it to find a spam message from some cellphone company. I immediately alerted my husband and he checked his hotmail account right away.

Once logged in he found a lot of returned emails from email addresses that has not been in use anymore. The message that had been send out to those was the same spam i had received.. with links to this site: http://www.mydosell.com. I do not know how save that site is so please be aware of that before you go there. That’s the reason why I did not made a clickable link to it.  That made us realize that someone indeed has been using his email for this spam. Offcourse he changed his pw immediately and I started to Google information on it.

Here’s what I found on the BBC website:

posted on Monday, 5 October 2009 20:02 UK

Thousands of accounts on web-based e-mail system Hotmail have been compromised in a phishing attack, software giant Microsoft has confirmed.

BBC News has seen a list of more than 10,000 e-mail accounts, predominantly originating from Europe, and passwords which were posted online.

To read the whole story click here.

I was not satisfied and wanted to know more and I found this at neowin.net.

An anonymous user posted details of the accounts on October 1 at pastebin.com, a site commonly used by developers to share code snippets. The details have since been removed but Neowin has seen part of the list posted and can confirm the accounts are genuine and most appear to be based in Europe. The list details over 10,000 accounts starting from A through to B, suggesting there could be additional lists. Currently it appears only accounts used to access Microsoft’s Windows Live Hotmail have been posted, this includes @hotmail.com, @msn.com and @live.com accounts.

To read the whole story please go here.

I have read some more stories about this and  some sources said that also g-mail and yahoo and other web-based email sites  have been affected. So my advice for everyone with a web-based email is simple PLEASE change your pw immediately and IF you use that same pw for other accounts  then DO change those too AFTER you have changed your hotmail email pw. To be sure you may want to check on forehand if you are not by any chance affected by a keylogger or a trojan. So your pw does not get compromised again.

Today I was reminded about a post I made a LONG time ago on another forum from a  game, and decided to make a simulair post right here in my blog.

A troll looks like you and me… untill they wake up and log on to the internet to start there daily trolling… Then they look like this:

Wikipedia Definition of a Troll:

“An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet-slang, is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chatroom, with the intention of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.”

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This post is not directed at anyone… just per information.. No one should feel offended.. and its no use to flame me here.. because I simply wont respond to flames and if it is not a decent reply then I will simply remove your comment.

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What is a Troll?

An Internet “troll” is a person who delights in sowing discord on the Internet. He (and it is usually he) tries to start arguments and upset people. For some reason, they don’t “get” that they are hurting real people. To them, other Internet users are not quite human but are a kind of digital abstraction. As a result, they feel no sorrow whatsoever for the pain they inflict. Indeed, the greater the suffering they cause, the greater their ‘achievement’ (as they see it).

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