Not long ago I overheard someone saying: “I just complained because I wanted to.” That put me to thinking, why do we complain? Whats the use of complaining? Does complaining serve any good purposes? Should we or should we not complain at all? And many more of these questions. WE all complain sometimes, about the weather maybe, or our kids misbehaving, perhaps “everything” goes wrong one day and you just feel like it, or because you simply wanted to, like the person who I overheard saying: ” I just complain because I wanted to” did.

So lets get to the first question; Why do we complain?

We all have our own reasons to complain but that’s not what I meant with this question, I’m looking for a deeper answer, what drives us to the point to complain about something we most likely can’t change anything about, like the weather for example. Some people may say it feels good, and I do have to admit sometimes it does feel good to just complain about something, just to get it off your chest, but more often then not it adds to my frustration. Its like reminding myself again about that what I don’t like and can’t change. Kind of useless you can say, because instead of getting rid of it you may add to it.

How do we complain?

What has an even bigger impact is how we voice our complains because if we complain in the right manner at the right address we actually can make a change which will affect our health positively, since it takes away our frustrations and could bring satisfaction of actually taking action and perhaps even making a positive difference. Jut nagging about the rain is not going to change much but finding equal thinking people in the society may help us feel a little better since we are not alone. And shared pain is less pain as they say. You can complain by writing a rant on a blog or Facebook or talk about it to friends or family or even a stranger you met at a bus stop can be your perfect victim to let them know how you feel about the weather or the fact that the bus is late for example. If you want to reach a certain goal with your complain however you need to find the right address and manner to voice your complaint. Think about this next time you complain ad also keep in mind the effects it may have on the other person who may absolutely not open to receive your complaints at the given time.

How to respond to complaints?

To be fair n square we all complain sometimes at some point about something. Nothing is more human. If people complain to you about something you may want to question how serious the complaint is and if this person actually expects changes by complaining to you about it or just seeks comfort or some sort of support or perhaps only just a listening ear to rant in. Now if you happen to be a customer service worker then it might be just your job to hear this persons complains and to take care of them in the right manner, If its a friend or relative you might want to support this person depending on what the complaint is about and if you can agree with it, and if its a stranger then it just really usually doesn’t matter unless of course your safety might be at stake.

As announced my blog has moved to a new address. My new Domain is https://whisperedwords.nl/. I have also replaced my old host for a cheaper one. Not everything is working yet as it was but I am fixing things and making some changes on my site as well. It may take a while before everything is functioning the way it used to before, please be patient with me while it is being brought back to its perfect performance. The database of registered users has been cleaned out. ALL accounts have been removed and you will have to register again if you want to comment on my blog posts. Thank you for returning to my blog, your patience and support!

So far so good. Though not everything is working yet as supposed and the look is not exactly as it used to either, the site IS running on the new domain and server as it is. A lot still has to be done and changes will be made still so stay tuned. You can no longer use your old login at the moment. I suggest if you wish to  leave comments and receive updates to re register. Your  provided information will not be used for anything else but this site, third parties also have NO ACCESS to your information provided. Thank you for returning to us as a visitor to my blog! <3

Danielle

Dear visitor,

All good things come to an end at some point. My blog, whisperedwords.net at my old host and domain soon will not be accessible any longer. I can not afford the hosting and the domain as it is now any longer. But don’t fret I am not going to give up on my blog.  9 years of blogging on Whispered Words still has not demotivated me, on the contrary it only has inspired me even more.

I have been in search for another hosting service and  domain for a while and it looks like I have succeeded in my quest. Soon you will be able to find my blog at the new address whisperedwords.nl.  I will use this opportunity to clean up my registration database as well, so I ask you to register yourself again once its setup completely. I will post ofcourse an announcement on my new blog once that is done. Also some other changes may be needed to get it all working again such as the mailing service etc. Again I will inform you about these changes on my new blog.

I like to thank those who have been enjoying reading my blog and supportive with comments during these 9 years I have been blogging. Hopefully I will see you all again at my new address.

Kind regards, Danielle,

Yesterday I learned once more that being right or wrong in a relationship really does not matter.  I find myself being right most of the time which is being acknowledge by the other person as well, but seldom I find that satisfying. Being right or wrong often depends on perspective and is not needed to be defined to come to an solution if both parties are working towards a solution and not working towards being right or proving the other to be wrong. Working towards the being right or proving the other to be wrong can lead to a solution but you may wonder if both parties will truly be satisfied with the outcome. Having respect for the other person and accepting the differences between each other may lead to a more satisfied solution even if it is the exact solution in both cases and the secret to that lays in the path towards the solution, simple because the outcome in both situation can be totally different and being right then may seem so insignificant.

Being right does not mean the same thing as doing the right thing. When being told I’m right  in an argument I usually mention how much I don’t like being right. It never felt satisfying and usually only showed losses and very little win of the situation. I never really could define why but more and more I learned how being right was not satisfying for me or the other person. My point of view, me as a person, my words, my thoughts, my position in the situation, they all may be right, but it is how I handle in the particular position in the situation that matters, for I still may end up being wrong when I handle wrong in my pride or arrogance by the need of being right. I’ve learned that in competitions for rightness, there is never really a winner and that being right may lead more often then not to losing that what truly mattered, happiness.

I rather receive the respect of my loved one and making them happy then hearing I am right. After long thinking and dealing with an unsatisfying outcome and negative feelings about my own position and a situation  yesterday, I grew today more in my understanding that being right does not matter and I have learned more so now why. Unfortunately this was at cost of my sweethearts happiness which made me truly sad and hurt. The full understanding of why came too late to make things truly right and now I can only ask for his forgiveness. I don’t see how I can truly rightfully make up in the future for what I caused but I can try to put this lesson in practice and hope my foolish heart will let me.

Next time I will have to ask myself what matters most, being right or being happy and its not hard to come to understand that my answer is being happy. What is a lot harder is to figure out what to do to find this “happy” because in my traumas when being triggered and in deep pain I find myself very much at loss of direction and of what makes me happy because I am being overwhelmed by a flood of emotions and its hard to dig through all those to find my way through the overlaying emotions to the actual emotion which will lead to the answer to what is this “happy”