juli 20 was his day… one day for him to be the center of attention, to be in the spotlight and, to use his own words as he has used them many time.. to ruin everyone elses day.

The sun was shining and it was very warm, my brother was folowing the car with his son sitting on the back, he was on my stepfathers Ariel VH, the same he was riding when he came into our family’s life,  behind that my mom in the cabrio reliant threewheel car with my sister in law, my brothers other  son and his daughter, and my daughter in the back seats..  The next car was my brothers car, with me, my husband Antonio, the longest friend my stepfather had and it was driven by a very close friend of my parents who also very recently lost her own husband.

Behind the car I was in.. the bikes… There where a lot of bikers from the old motorclub that came and in his honor they made a hague of honor that we all ride through at the end of the road. That was the first real difficult moment for me, hearing the sounds of the bikes that went so well with him and that he loved to be surrounded with. he would of loved it, and my mom, she was so proud to be able to give him such a last day, it feelt good. Then we went inside, My brother, his two little sons, my husband and 2 more man I dont remember who, carried the chest in and the ceremony started. none of the family wanted to speak themselfs. We couldnt, My mom had spoken and left her thoughts n memories with a spokes woman who made a beautiful speech. My brother had written a letter with his own emotions and feelings and words who was read to us by the same spokes woman and there was the woman who he had been friends with for 58 years who was giving a speech about him, his past his life and how things came to be. me, and a friend of his twenties, when his love for bikes really came to be. I had no words, and really still don’t have anything much to say. I believe everything I had wanted to say has been said during his life. My mom and brother, his wife , children and me and my husband and daughter gave him some items with him that have been important to us and where memories that connected us with him.

The first little  marklin train, that he had given to my bro, a tool that was so much connected with him a hat in the colors of the motorbike club he was a member of,  werthers real original candy that he loved so much, drawings from his grand children, a few more things I dont remember and the pandabear that i loved so much since I saw it hanging in his car. And ofcourse white roses fitting with the song my mother had chosen to be played from nana mouskoury, his favorit artist at the time they meet.

He was dressed in his scottish outfit and ofcourse a piper played some songs  during the ceremony as well. After the ceremony there was coffee with scones and for us, the family satisfaction that it went the way he would of approved of and that it went the way my mom and all of us had wanted it.

ofcourse something no one could get arround or ignored was my pregnancy, my unborn baby was present as well on this day that she was suposed to be born, all be it inside my tummy. It got more attention then I wanted and I am glad I did not used my wheelchair during the funeral, that would of dragged even more attention… and this day was his, not mine or my baby.. only his… and he got it. My baby will have her own day where she will be in the spotlights, I hope thursday or maybe even later… we will see and just have to wait patiently :).

arround  at least 75 people where present that day, they where family, old colleages, old friends, new friends, bikerfriends, neighbours etc etc who came from all corners of the country and even outside the country. Some had called  in the morning, they wanted to come, but couldnt, there bike had stranded and given up on them so the trip to the funeral had to be canceled abruptely, others had there own loved ones in the hospital under serious circumstances that they couldnt  come either. And many where there with us just in thoughts and heart and some simply where not aware yet of what had overcome us, simply because its vacation time and they hadnt heard of the sad news yet because they are not able to read the mail or been informed by others one way or the other…

All together, it was a perfect day, his day… may he rest in peace.

Wow that went faster then I expected, but yes.. my stepfather passed away today. I am thinking its good that it went so fast at the other hand I would of liked my mom to have a little more time with him before he passed away. Though this is it and we will have to accept it. He died calm and seemingly without pain or anything and that is a relief for all of us.

I am expecting the funeral to be on monday and by then my baby might have been born so I can go there hopefully because if I get complications and such then I might not only not even be able to support my mom and help my brother with all the things that hes helping my mom with but then I also may not even be able to come to the funeral..  And I really do want that, not only for me but also for my mom and the rest of the friends and family…

May he rest in peace.