As announced my blog has moved to a new address. My new Domain is https://whisperedwords.nl/. I have also replaced my old host for a cheaper one. Not everything is working yet as it was but I am fixing things and making some changes on my site as well. It may take a while before everything is functioning the way it used to before, please be patient with me while it is being brought back to its perfect performance. The database of registered users has been cleaned out. ALL accounts have been removed and you will have to register again if you want to comment on my blog posts. Thank you for returning to my blog, your patience and support!

So far so good. Though not everything is working yet as supposed and the look is not exactly as it used to either, the site IS running on the new domain and server as it is. A lot still has to be done and changes will be made still so stay tuned. You can no longer use your old login at the moment. I suggest if you wish to  leave comments and receive updates to re register. Your  provided information will not be used for anything else but this site, third parties also have NO ACCESS to your information provided. Thank you for returning to us as a visitor to my blog! <3

Danielle

Dear visitor,

All good things come to an end at some point. My blog, whisperedwords.net at my old host and domain soon will not be accessible any longer. I can not afford the hosting and the domain as it is now any longer. But don’t fret I am not going to give up on my blog.  9 years of blogging on Whispered Words still has not demotivated me, on the contrary it only has inspired me even more.

I have been in search for another hosting service and  domain for a while and it looks like I have succeeded in my quest. Soon you will be able to find my blog at the new address whisperedwords.nl.  I will use this opportunity to clean up my registration database as well, so I ask you to register yourself again once its setup completely. I will post ofcourse an announcement on my new blog once that is done. Also some other changes may be needed to get it all working again such as the mailing service etc. Again I will inform you about these changes on my new blog.

I like to thank those who have been enjoying reading my blog and supportive with comments during these 9 years I have been blogging. Hopefully I will see you all again at my new address.

Kind regards, Danielle,

Yesterday I learned once more that being right or wrong in a relationship really does not matter.  I find myself being right most of the time which is being acknowledge by the other person as well, but seldom I find that satisfying. Being right or wrong often depends on perspective and is not needed to be defined to come to an solution if both parties are working towards a solution and not working towards being right or proving the other to be wrong. Working towards the being right or proving the other to be wrong can lead to a solution but you may wonder if both parties will truly be satisfied with the outcome. Having respect for the other person and accepting the differences between each other may lead to a more satisfied solution even if it is the exact solution in both cases and the secret to that lays in the path towards the solution, simple because the outcome in both situation can be totally different and being right then may seem so insignificant.

Being right does not mean the same thing as doing the right thing. When being told I’m right  in an argument I usually mention how much I don’t like being right. It never felt satisfying and usually only showed losses and very little win of the situation. I never really could define why but more and more I learned how being right was not satisfying for me or the other person. My point of view, me as a person, my words, my thoughts, my position in the situation, they all may be right, but it is how I handle in the particular position in the situation that matters, for I still may end up being wrong when I handle wrong in my pride or arrogance by the need of being right. I’ve learned that in competitions for rightness, there is never really a winner and that being right may lead more often then not to losing that what truly mattered, happiness.

I rather receive the respect of my loved one and making them happy then hearing I am right. After long thinking and dealing with an unsatisfying outcome and negative feelings about my own position and a situation  yesterday, I grew today more in my understanding that being right does not matter and I have learned more so now why. Unfortunately this was at cost of my sweethearts happiness which made me truly sad and hurt. The full understanding of why came too late to make things truly right and now I can only ask for his forgiveness. I don’t see how I can truly rightfully make up in the future for what I caused but I can try to put this lesson in practice and hope my foolish heart will let me.

Next time I will have to ask myself what matters most, being right or being happy and its not hard to come to understand that my answer is being happy. What is a lot harder is to figure out what to do to find this “happy” because in my traumas when being triggered and in deep pain I find myself very much at loss of direction and of what makes me happy because I am being overwhelmed by a flood of emotions and its hard to dig through all those to find my way through the overlaying emotions to the actual emotion which will lead to the answer to what is this “happy”

Often when I get upset about a small thing and I get really triggered into a lot of anxiety and being confronted with my past emotions or situations from where my traumas stem, I hate it with a passion that I get upset about such a little thing that seems to be so small to most people. For no one experiences the war that goes on inside me, the pain that consumes me, the shame that overwhelms me, and the sadness that keeps my tears running without a sound. I became aware of how powerful those substantially little things are. Not only have I found them in my traumas but also outside of that. When I take a walk outside on a quiet Sunday and the warm sunbeams touch my skin, I’m extremely aware of the warmth it spreads on my skin, That one single bird with his high pitched sounds doesn’t go unnoticed neither its friend that in the far distance replies to its calls. A single flower that grows out of the mud or all the little flowers on the tree that makes it look like one giant cotton candy. I single them out and enjoy the beauty of these little things. Sometimes I try to capture it on my camera, these small things that touch me that make me know who I am. That gives me the strength to believe in myself and the power to keep getting up when life knocked me down.

Those tiny little things are so powerful and can change a whole day instantly from good to bad or bad to good for me at least, where big things as they seem to be so big has less impact on me. It’s the individual that matters, the uniqueness, the one of a kind. The moments that will never come again.  You cant see it again ever in the same angle or hear it again exactly in the same way.

That touches me and teaches me to appreciate these things. It helps me to find the healing path to loving myself. I am ever grateful for the support from my sweetheart who never fails to remind me that I am worth loving and that I AM beautiful and strong and an amazing person. Without walking next to my shoes from arrogance I am trying to learn how to accept this and see this for myself. I do sometimes and there are moments that I appreciate myself. Only when I have reached that I can come to my full potential, I am fully aware of that. Learning to accept the negative things I can not change and use that to my advantage to be strong and stand above it. What once was a cause of my downfall will now be a cause of my power as well.

So I focus on those little things and that is why they become so grand and given so much power to lift me up. Most people will not notice the power of those things or the beauty of it sadly enough. I can’t wait to be with the one I can share all those things with that seem so small and unimportant yet all those little things together do make me, me. And he appreciates that he knows that, he sees that, he is amazing. One day… <3