Big things are in the little things
Often when I get upset about a small thing and I get really triggered into a lot of anxiety and being confronted with my past emotions or situations from where my traumas stem, I hate it with a passion that I get upset about such a little thing that seems to be so small to most people. For no one experiences the war that goes on inside me, the pain that consumes me, the shame that overwhelms me, and the sadness that keeps my tears running without a sound. I became aware of how powerful those substantially little things are. Not only have I found them in my traumas but also outside of that. When I take a walk outside on a quiet Sunday and the warm sunbeams touch my skin, I’m extremely aware of the warmth it spreads on my skin, That one single bird with his high pitched sounds doesn’t go unnoticed neither its friend that in the far distance replies to its calls. A single flower that grows out of the mud or all the little flowers on the tree that makes it look like one giant cotton candy. I single them out and enjoy the beauty of these little things. Sometimes I try to capture it on my camera, these small things that touch me that make me know who I am. That gives me the strength to believe in myself and the power to keep getting up when life knocked me down.
Those tiny little things are so powerful and can change a whole day instantly from good to bad or bad to good for me at least, where big things as they seem to be so big has less impact on me. It’s the individual that matters, the uniqueness, the one of a kind. The moments that will never come again. You cant see it again ever in the same angle or hear it again exactly in the same way.
That touches me and teaches me to appreciate these things. It helps me to find the healing path to loving myself. I am ever grateful for the support from my sweetheart who never fails to remind me that I am worth loving and that I AM beautiful and strong and an amazing person. Without walking next to my shoes from arrogance I am trying to learn how to accept this and see this for myself. I do sometimes and there are moments that I appreciate myself. Only when I have reached that I can come to my full potential, I am fully aware of that. Learning to accept the negative things I can not change and use that to my advantage to be strong and stand above it. What once was a cause of my downfall will now be a cause of my power as well.
So I focus on those little things and that is why they become so grand and given so much power to lift me up. Most people will not notice the power of those things or the beauty of it sadly enough. I can’t wait to be with the one I can share all those things with that seem so small and unimportant yet all those little things together do make me, me. And he appreciates that he knows that, he sees that, he is amazing. One day… <3
