I lied to you,

When I told you that I love you,
And when I said I would for as long as I live.

It’s not true,

Because I don’t just love you,
What I feel is so much more then that.
There just are no other words that will do.

Because,

You are my soul mate,
I will love you always,
Beyond the stars and the moon.
And I will find you again and again.

Luna, (D.S)  august 4 2017 9:58 am

Yesterday I learned once more that being right or wrong in a relationship really does not matter.  I find myself being right most of the time which is being acknowledge by the other person as well, but seldom I find that satisfying. Being right or wrong often depends on perspective and is not needed to be defined to come to an solution if both parties are working towards a solution and not working towards being right or proving the other to be wrong. Working towards the being right or proving the other to be wrong can lead to a solution but you may wonder if both parties will truly be satisfied with the outcome. Having respect for the other person and accepting the differences between each other may lead to a more satisfied solution even if it is the exact solution in both cases and the secret to that lays in the path towards the solution, simple because the outcome in both situation can be totally different and being right then may seem so insignificant.

Being right does not mean the same thing as doing the right thing. When being told I’m right  in an argument I usually mention how much I don’t like being right. It never felt satisfying and usually only showed losses and very little win of the situation. I never really could define why but more and more I learned how being right was not satisfying for me or the other person. My point of view, me as a person, my words, my thoughts, my position in the situation, they all may be right, but it is how I handle in the particular position in the situation that matters, for I still may end up being wrong when I handle wrong in my pride or arrogance by the need of being right. I’ve learned that in competitions for rightness, there is never really a winner and that being right may lead more often then not to losing that what truly mattered, happiness.

I rather receive the respect of my loved one and making them happy then hearing I am right. After long thinking and dealing with an unsatisfying outcome and negative feelings about my own position and a situation  yesterday, I grew today more in my understanding that being right does not matter and I have learned more so now why. Unfortunately this was at cost of my sweethearts happiness which made me truly sad and hurt. The full understanding of why came too late to make things truly right and now I can only ask for his forgiveness. I don’t see how I can truly rightfully make up in the future for what I caused but I can try to put this lesson in practice and hope my foolish heart will let me.

Next time I will have to ask myself what matters most, being right or being happy and its not hard to come to understand that my answer is being happy. What is a lot harder is to figure out what to do to find this “happy” because in my traumas when being triggered and in deep pain I find myself very much at loss of direction and of what makes me happy because I am being overwhelmed by a flood of emotions and its hard to dig through all those to find my way through the overlaying emotions to the actual emotion which will lead to the answer to what is this “happy”

Well I have not written for a while a new post so I figured I write an update again. I am currently looking into moving to a new host for my blog because now I am divorced I simply can’t afford the webhosting service and my domain anymore as it is now unfortunately. I have found an affordable hosting service at Strato.nl. I hope their service is going to work with my blog. I have experiences with Strato in the past with other websites for a community center where I was taking care of the website among the things I did there and the service at strato has always been a pleasant one.  I am backing up my blog to make sure I won’t lose my data when my time runs out on this address and I will try to have a new site running before this one runs out so I can redirect all my old viewers to my new address.  Just so no one gets lost. There may be some changes to my blog that I want to make to my blog to make the size smaller perhaps and remove the items that I no longer wish to be part of my blog. When the time is there I will inform you all.

Next thing on my list is my divorce. I have all ready mentioned it in a post earlier that my divorce is finally final and I am no longer a prisoner to my marriage. That’s how it felt when I made the decision to part my ways from my ex. With that I can finally get my finances in order once I get my butt moving at least that is.

My package that I had send to Lane in December did finally arrived last month at Valentines day. I received the shipping costs back from the mail service due to the many problems I had run into with them and the fact that the package looked like it had been run over by a bulldozer. Now I am in the process of completing another package to send and my sweetheart has send a package to me as well. I am so exited I can hardly wait to receive it and open it :). I hope it wont be such a long wait as the package I have send his way last time. I love spoiling him with the little things I send and introducing him to  and sharing some Dutch candies and things I like and enjoy with him. All ready got him fall in love with my favorite candies too!

Ok so far this  quick update. Ill write more soon again! Hugs Danielle

Like Chocolate

Whenever
You look at me
With your beautiful
Deep brown eyes

Butterflies
In my stomach
Every time
Again and again

I melt
Like chocolate
In your mouth
When you smile

My heart races
When your voice
Meant for me
Reaches my ear

You touching my life
Leaves an imprint
In my heart
I never forget.

D.S. 23 march 2017 12:30

~*~

A moment in time

~*~