Stress
Last week has been really rough on me. My stress levels increased and that shows on my skin and hair. But internally the mess is even greater. After keeping it all bottled up the whole week because my daughter has been around, of course, all days due to Corona still, I started feeling sick up to a point that I could barely hold my food.
She has been wanting to do something with me and I promised to play a little board game with her but again I have to fail her. Last week we where going to bbq but the weather changed and we canceled our plans. Today the weather was good enough so even tho I’m stressed out I put a little bbq together. Now my stress level is even higher and I feel like I’m about to explode. I barely can relax.
The stress is too high. I am not feeling well and snappy and I want to get away from people as far as possible really right now because I’m worried myself. The pain inside my chest and the stress have gotten me really moody. So I have been hiding in my game ARK Evolution. My daughter plays it too so we played that a little bit this week but mostly I been on my own. The transfers to a new server map have opened up and I have prepared for that a little bit. Been building on a new base and raising some dinos.
Next week my daughter will be at her dad’s the whole week and maybe ill find a way to destress then a Lil better when I don’t have to worry about her too. Well, I say that but I am worried about her too when shes there. He doesn’t take the Corona issue as seriously as I do but I cant keep her away from her dad forever. It wouldn’t be good for her since shes not going to school either and she needs social interaction too.
Plus she misses him. He didn’t use my offer to skype n call with her or videogame with her online so I managed to push that through because she missed him and felt really bad. thinking he doesn’t love her etc.. I don’t really know how to answer that because it would most likely hurt her.
I know she worries a lot about me and wants to see me happy too. More then she lets on. This worries me a lot too. With no one on my side that I can trust, feel comfortable with and can talk to its all together with everything else still going on almost getting too much for me and I’m scared I get worse again. Hopefully, I can recharge a little next week.
Hugs Luna
