Situations.
Some things I am currently dealing with in my life are very serious and how instances deal with these things is very dissapointing. They refuse to take action and take care of the source of the problems and just want me to step it up even more. They want to intervene with my therapy and see how they can use that for these situations.
No, just no. My therapy is for my personal well being to deal with my own trsumas. I have been working hard and steady towards my own healing even tho I keep getting more and more hardships on my path that make this harder and harder for me.
My healing journey us now at a point that I am not focussing anymore on my traumas but rather have to use it to stay stabile with current issues at hand. This is not ok. The source of the problems need to be taken care if and not misuse my healing journey so that they don’t have to do their job.
I won’t stand for it and if I have to I will take it to court. I am traunatized and problems with the person in the past who causes my current stress lvl by not keeping to agreements and not picking up on his responsibilities should not be added to my list of things I need to work on. This is ridiculous!!!
Yes I am strong but having to be too strong for too long causes depression and the stressfull situation is adding to my C-PTSD. But my C-PTSD is not the root of the cause of these problems. I need wright being taken off me not more therapy to learn to deal with the extra weight. Take care of the damn load everyone keeps adding onto me!
If it comes to the point that I drop the all cause I can’t carry it anymore, abd trust me it’s heading that way, then all eyes are on me because I am failing to do what I should be doing. But these eyes are on me because I am in the picture because of my C-PTSD. No one needs to tell me I need help. Go tell the person who’s causing my issues and heightened stress lvl that is causing serious problems for my wellbeing to take care if HIS problems instead. I’m not the source!!!
One of the things they asked me was what I could do to find trust back in the other party who keep breaking agreements and causing my stress. So I looked them straight in the eyes. Nothing at all was my answer. That is NOT onto me! Trust needs to be earned and not given unless proven to be deserved after all the abuse me and my daughter had to deal with. At the sane time they speak of my therapy so I don’t get abused again. WTH. That’s why I’m not going to give trust someone who has proven and continue to proof that I can not trust them.
I am very angry, sad and dissapointed. And I realize that the way they handle this is going to add to my traumas.
