A beautiful journey
As raw and painfully my healing journey is it’s healing and thruthfull even so more. Faith and trust in myself are rebuilding but with every healing journey it can be full of fallbacks and deceiving moments of glory.
I have learned not to celebrate my victories too soon and to accept that one step forward sometimes means two steps back. I have learned long way back that there is no one I can truly count on and trust. I find this a sad and extremely painful stain in my life. But it is what it is.
There will alway be those who can not appreciate you for they are too blind for the truth hidden below the scars. And this is a painful truth that does affect certain aspects of my journey tremendously. We should support another and not hold against them what they are battling so fiercefully already. I pray they find the wisdom in their heart to understand the complexity and simplicity of a healing journey all at once.
People always speak of letting go when the trauma topic comes to the table but what’s not so much brought up is how we have to unearthening ourselfs, like digging up a treasure from ancient times. Find my way back to the true self which many non traumatized people don’t even seem to have much knowledge of.
My healing journey is a difficult journey, dangerous and long winding because I will and have been extremely vulnerable during these times. That is something I have accepted from the beginning because I know I’m strong enough to carry it. I am not just a survivor, I am a warrior.
Healing is my goal but it’s a goal that keeps on moving forward because it’s a learning journey and education truly never ends. To live is to learn. So my focus is not on the end goal but on the path I walk during my journey.
My meditation sessions are very cleansing and strengthening. I look forward to better weather so I can take a trip to the sea again and let the elements of nature bring solace from the seemingly everlasting chaos that my spirit is battling. My intuition has grown stronger and I have learned that keeping what it teaches me to myself. I’ve found a renewed respect for this treasure I was given.
Sometimes I think about how in the old days life must have been like in the books I have been reading; “Earth’s children”. The journey back to such way of life is impossible to take anymore at this point with so many elements that won’t even allow this. But the slowly unfolding of what lays hidden deep inside myself still is a huge treasure on it’s own. I’m grateful for this beautiful journey.
