Being strong
I have heard so many times in my life that people think I am strong because of what I have been through that I feel like people think that I have another choice. One endures things better then another but this will do its damage, in the end, one way or the other I don’t know if that can be considered strong, to be honest.
On the other hand, I do believe that I am a very strong person because of how I kept pushing to get through it. Don’t be mistaken by the damage it has done tho and the price I paid for this and am still paying every day.
No one knows the many times I have cried and still cry myself to sleep, would these people still call me strong when they find me in my misery at my weakest? I doubt it. But honestly, at those times I am being the strongest because that’s when I endure the most pain and have to endure it. Not when I am out and smiling hiding it for everyone.
Just because I don’t respond or react on something publicly doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect or hurt me. I just know my reaction wouldn’t change anything. People do what they want knowingly and willingly. Sometimes people are unaware of the pain they cause with their actions simply because they have no knowledge about what the other person is dealing with. Other times they know but they simply don’t care.
Not publicly displaying my discomfort, pain, and hurt doesn’t make me stronger then anyone else I think. I have just been taught that how I feel doesn’t matter. That’s why I often keep my pain to myself and hide it in any way I can.
