How are you doing?
Thinking back about a conversation I had with someone yesterday I realize I didn’t ask how they were doing. But it’s not because I didn’t want to know or didn’t care, I seldom ask people how they are doing or what they are doing even people I care a lot about. I don’t like small talk. People are usually just saying I’m okay, I’m fine, all good or whatever without telling really how they are doing. Either people don’t want to tell me, because it’s me and I don’t fit into that circle of people they share that with or they are not comfortable telling me for whatever reason. So I don’t ask people often how they are doing.
When I ask someone how they are doing, or how their day went or something, I sincerely like to know how they are doing. If I ask, I really do want to know how you are doing, what have you done today? Tell me something that made your day or that surprised you, something you liked or disliked, feeling a little sick? Tell me. Sad or down? Tell me.
When I get past my fear of the rejection because I see it as a rejection of not fitting into the category of people you do want to tell whats going on in your life and ask what you are doing and how you are doing understand that I care and that I am being sincere.
Now just because I didn’t ask when we talked doesn’t mean I don’t care, I most likely just held back by my fear. So please tell me anyway, I am an introvert and due to my traumas dealing with a lot of fears however that doesn’t mean I am not interested in you.
And if somehow I stopped asking than most likely something has scared me from asking again. I will let you know when I don’t have time or when I am not interested or by chance can’t pay attention due to things I am dealing with or maybe I am too tired. I will just ask you to share it with me another time. I wouldn’t ask to tell me another time if I didn’t want to know.
Also, I like to think that when someone shares something about them with me without asking that it’s like a gift to me. Someone sharing something with me because they really want to share something with you is for me very priceless. I am not surrounded by people who want to share things, stories, etc with me. (due to my own isolation) So I really appreciate that if you do.
I have learned to listen to my emotions more in the last few years and due to my traumas I can not always handle everything. My mind is dealing with so many things at the same time and most people don’t realize that or forget it because it may look like I am fine but rest assured that my mind is always incredibly active, overloaded or exhausted. And yes I do know I need to work on this and I will. So please, tell me how are you doing, how have you been?
