Insights
While my heart is breaking I am looking deep inside me to get to the pain to heal it. The pain comes from attachment. There are many myths about it and a lot of arguments whether the attachment is good or bad.
What is an attachment in relationships exactly? Attachment is an emotional bond between two individuals or a group of people.
Why is an attachment actually important? The ability as an individual to form and grow an emotional and physical attachment to another individual gives a sense of stability and security which we find necessary to take risks, branch out, and grow and develop as a person.
Attachment is bad when you restrict yourself in such a way that you cant develop yourself or grow your own personality when your stability depends solely on the other person. That’s when you need to start working on your insecurities and self-esteem. You can not blame the other person for this because it is something that you do not the other.
When the other person restricts and requires you to depend on them in such a way that you can not develop yourself and grow as a person then they are controlling and you should check your boundaries.
Love and attachment are not the same things. Me loving in a romantic way however does require an emotional bond for me and with that attachment.
I am sad to realize that I have restricted myself because of the other person in an unhealthy way. So now I am healing myself and working again on boundaries that I have yet to discover that I should install to protect myself.
