Loving a damaged person…
Being in a relationship with and loving a damaged person takes a lot of courage, rivers of patience and oceans of love. You will have to fight through battles and overcome hurdles that will burn into the deepest of your soul that many are not strong enough to endure.
It’s fighting someone else’s battles. Someone who locks their feelings in a valve with no keys. It’s climbing the walls they’ve built up for years and just when you think you have gotten to the top another wall appears. It’s diving in the deepest of the pitch black oceans where it just gets darker and darker and you just feel surrounded by these ghosts that are haunting their soul like sharks.
It’s being left out in the unknown because they want you, they need you yet they fear you just as much at the same time. The feeling that they get hurt the same again while still hurting from and overcoming the pain from the past.
Even with all those walls of protection they raised, they are the most vulnerable souls out there because they know they need to and have opened up their heart for the love they have for you. They are trying to show you who they are but don’t know how. Not sure what is wanted, needed, will be rejected, hated and loved.
When they let you see them you have no choice but to fall in love with them for they have the most beautiful soul you have ever seen. It seems impossible to convince them of your love and to show them and prove to them that you are not like the rest that your love is not going to betray them and leave them in pieces.
When you engage in such a battle do not give up because then you do just exactly that what they fear the most. They let you in because they still believe that there is no stronger force then love and long for this so much that they let you in this maze of their broken soul.
She wants to feel safe and secure but this takes a sea of time but with rivers of patience and oceans of love, dedication, and effort this is a war that can be won. The outcome will be like the most beautiful thing you have ever experienced.
It will change you, have no doubt about that. but you can only grow from it in the end. The love that person has to give is immensely deep and strong just as much if not more as the battles and hurdles and the depth of that deep dark sea. If you are only willing to give birth to this love to overcome it all.
Loving such a damaged person is downright a war, a war that very few are ready to fight, that’s why they are often left alone which is actually damaging them further being forced and pushed further into isolation and loneliness. Damaged people seem to us like strong independent people who need no one and they can take on a whole world by themselves but only for so long and it hurt them a lot. Because inside they are the most vulnerable beings who do need a hand to hold and a soul to understand.
Damaged people crave love more than anything else, yet they run from it at its very sight. They want an emotional connection, yet every time they try to establish one, ghosts of their past start haunting them, carrying images of the pain they had to endure. Poisoned by intruding thoughts they push you away, yet secretly hoping you would still insist on staying. Damaged people are so full of love, and that’s exactly why they’re so afraid to fall in love.
That’s why you need to understand fully that if you choose to love a damaged person, you have to be extremely patient with them, you have to be delicate, you have to make the first step too many times, and most importantly, you must have real feelings for them, feelings that will endure the challenge of time, the fiery battles awaiting you and the many storms that will approach the coasts of your heart.
The end.
I wrote “the end” because the one person I love with all my heart and everything I am has chosen not to follow this path. He did not want, could not, commit to loving me. He has his own reasons for this and he has the right to make this choice himself.
I have blocked him on my social media and/or deleted my apps. I say “and” because there’s no one else that mattered on my social media. No one left.
At this moment I feel nothing anymore, but my feelings will come back and it’s going to hurt. It is going to hurt so bad but I could not just be friends and feel that pain every time I talk with him or see his name or whenever anything reminds me of him. It is going to be difficult enough already. No, I won’t get just over him and move on. I love him. But I hope I can give it a place where I can cherish the love I have and find a way to deal with this loss. It’s like someone died, a part of myself even and you don’t stop loving them either. Except he didn’t die. I hope he will find happiness and will be able to achieve his dreams. I wish him a healthy life full of promises and joy. Good luck my love, Goodbye.
I was yours, yours always for as long as you wanted me and you decided not to want me anymore. So now I am in fact no longer yours!
