Feeling invisible
Lately, I’m starting to feel invisible again and that makes me want to disappear, loneliness starts creeping up on me and I am scared for that depression that’s been lurking around trying to get a hold on me.
Being too strong for too long can cause depression but what other choice do I have? I have no other choice then be strong. Yes, I drop down from time to time but I can’t stay there, I got to get up again cause no one else is going to do it for me. So I keep picking myself up and I’m trying to find things to distract me and silence the thoughts in my head but I’m losing patience and I’m becoming moody which doesn’t help anything at all. ugh.
People letting me down not doing what they say they do. I wish I had people in my life I could truly depend on that they do what they say. When I think back I never really had that. All I ever really had was myself. Maybe this is why it’s so important for me to do what I say n be reliable almost at all cost.
I am tired, I want to let go n take a break not having to worry about anything. My last little break was almost 2 years ago to get hit by major depression and a lot of stress right after. I want to have energy and be able to do things. I feel like a phone battery that never is put down long enough to fully recharge an all the time almost runs empty.
