Loneliness
The memory of your hugs is now filled with sorrow,
the memory of your kisses is now filled with pain.
My dreams, not even nightmares, filled with remorse
filled with darkness, filled with thunders and rain.
My anxiety haunts me and continues to pester me,
my anxiety forces me always to live in fear.
I want to beg, cry out, yell and scream for comfort,
but, there is not a single soul around to hear
Scarred throughout my life and tainted by words and deeds,
I’m finally stripped of every last bit of self-esteem.
Eyes that look down at me, minds that immediately assume,
minds, who don’t know and eyes that haven’t seen.
I am just like you, I am a person, once too I was a child,
why am I being judged so cold with laughs all riled?
I give all I can and have, my love, my life, my heart,
Still alone, hurt, scattered and falling appart
Isolation, because of the regret of things I could not have changed,
because of the shame of things others did. Because of fear
To hide myself from their eyes, to become unseen,
to not be judged, to not exist and to finally disappear.
Darkened, outcasted and cursed by the cruelty of this world
wanting to be cared for, fighting, dreaming and craving to be loved.
D.S. March 17th 2019
