About racism and narcism, a truth you maybe never will see.
A really long time ago when I was a little girl about my own lil daughter’s age, she’s 7 almost 8, I had a friend. She lived right next to me and was a little younger than me. We walked to school together sometimes and after school, we often played together. We were not in the same class though. One day when walking to school I got into a fight with her (verbally). That did not happen often. She was saying really mean things to me that were hurting me and I called her stupid and dumb and that kind of things, like most kids, do when they fight. Other kids had found out we had been fighting and since I was already a target of bullying that was added to it. I was being called a racist because my friend who I often played with after school and walked to school many times has a dark skin color. Simply because she has a dark skin color and we were fighting I was called a racist. I remember how shocked and angry I was. I did not care about her skin color at all. she was being mean to me and that was the only reason I was mad at her and why we had been fighting. None of those kids were hanging out with her or me for that matter and I know some of them used to talk bad about her too. It was just another stick they could hit me with. I knew that. But still, being called a racist was something I never imagined people would say about me. I am not a bully, I am not a racist. I don’t judge people on what they look like or where they come from. I don’t even judge people on their actions always because everything has more as one viewpoint and I am not as arrogant to think that only my viewpoint is right, often there are also other elements at play that others are not aware of and this is why I am careful before I judge someone.
I have lived and been abused by a narcist who when I met him I never could think he is a narcist. He was the most charming and nice person I met, I thought he was compassionate and caring. But I have learned that narcists can only pretend compassion and care when it suits their needs. When I realized I needed to take care of myself when I was put down so much and started doing that, I found out how low a narcist can sink. He blamed me for his alcoholism although he was already drinking long before I met him. His family does not know him this way. They have never experienced his abusive behavior towards me and think I am the worst person ever. So before you defend someone to realize that the other person story is just as important and may hold a truth you will never see. Just because you didn’t see it, heard it or felt it doesn’t make it less true and it doesn’t mean the person you defend has no responsibility. Be careful before you judge.
