My Facebook, my family and my thoughts… last part
So the post from my brother on my time line totally surprised me. My first reaction was shock after I read his words. WTF got into him suddenly? Seriously, my brother who barely cares about the things I write or say or do, suddenly comes onto my Facebook after our half sister is looking for us thinking he can order me around and tell me what to do after his insults to me. He might be in the army in his job and be my older brother, but he is still not in charge of me even if we where close together I would not allow that. So I call him upon that and ask him why hes not minding his own business and to explain himself why he goes all ape shit in public on my Facebook about something he claims not wanting to be involved in.
My half sister who had read the comments as well responded too, wondering where his sudden strong reply came from(at least that’s how her post came across to me) I forgot the rest of the conversation but eventually my brother apologized while still insulting me on the same post all be it a little milder. My half sister posted that she thought she took the wrong moment for this family search and walked away from it. (I cant blame her, I would not have wanted to open such a can of worms either! thanks bro really) She removed herself from my friend list and a day later he removes his post. Well that really made me go like WTF is going on? I don’t like drama and I did not ask for all this drama!
I have send her a privat message where I explained to her that I did not know why my brother responded the way he did and that I only have a small idea of why but that it had nothing to do with her really or me actually for that matter but that because he did not wanted to get involved that I would respect that and that for that reason I would not explain my thoughts about it. I also told her again that I don’t mind having contact with her and that I wont hold it against her anything my dad did or did not do, after all shes not him. Also wrote to her that I even discussed it with my mother even before my brother responded on my Facebook and that she was all right with it. I gave her my email address and told her not to take my bro’s reaction personally.
I never got a reply to that message, though Facebook told me that she did read it. That’s okay though.
Even if the things I had written that my bro claimed where not true, these things where things from over 20 years ago. He was not even present when some of the things that I wrote about happened and neither did I told him about them at that time as far as I remember because as mentioned before we simple have never been that close. Aside of that, he could have send me private message and told me I was mistaken on some parts and correct me where I was wrong. Or even post that in public, I would not have minded that either. Though, I did not lie, IF and that’s a HUGE BIG IF I was mistaken on anything that still would not have been a reason to attack me like that and put me down publicly as a liar and someone who makes up stuff.
So when he made a post about blowing of steam on his own Timeline, I posted that he should do that more often then people might not remove them self from my Facebook friend list because of him. Well he of course ignored my little sting, like I expected. That would have been the wisest thing to do anyway and he didn’t responded to it, at least not publicly. In a private message he was a lot less silent.
That would have been okay if he was not continuing calling me a theatrical person and claiming to have apologized. The apology that he removed along with the whole conversation because he did not wanted anyone to see the childish bickering, as he explained later. When I call him upon the fact that he still had not explained himself to me about what things I supposedly had lied about I still got no answer until a few private messages later that where accompanied with more insults. The things he said that I had lied about, he was wrong about, I did not lie. I think his anger about the conversation between my half sister and me has more to do with the fact that we have different opinions and feelings about our stepfather who passed away some years ago. I respect his opinion and that his experience was/is different then mine, however I don’t think that is mutual and that hes holding things against me and that with this contact with my half sister I maybe don’t give my stepfather or maybe my mom enough credit or something like that. That is the only reason I can come up with.
I consulted my mom about the whole thing and showed her even all of the private messages because it really did hurt me how my brother was talking to me and calling me a liar and how he insulted me. I just don’t understand why he does that to me when I have done nothing to him. I don’t understand it at all especially not because now HE has her in his Facebook friends list while he didn’t wanted to have anything to do with it. Its so confusing.My mom could not really help me and advised me to just ignore him, to write him an email and not talk about it on Facebook and let it go. But that’s easier said than done. My bro hurts me and is a complete jackass and I am supposed to act like everything is fine and that I don’t care and give him my other cheek to smack. But that’s not me.. I don’t like play games and pretend I’m all right, I do care and it does hurt me and if you’r apology is not sincere then you can keep it. It is worthless and only makes it worse.
As a kid I used to be the person who, when being kicked on purpose under the table, would smack you back above the table, just to get punished for it. And yeah I would kick a scene for that not being fair. And I am still that person. I don’t hide and cheat. When you are being a dork, I’ll tell you straight in the face(book) and I don’t care who sees it or what other people think about me for that and if you are thinking that two wrongs don’t make a right, then you are absolutely right, but that’s okay, I am not and don’t have to be perfect. I don’t try to hide my mistakes, and remove posts to cover up my errors for the fear of others to form an opinion about me (don’t mention the spellings mistakes I correct or when I use type-ex, that would be just lame LOL) instead I try to learn from them and try to keep my sense of humor. I don’t like to pretend to be something or someone that I am not. I have but only one life and I prefer to live it myself instead of being lived by others. I try to live without debts, as well as financially as emotionally and I am pretty good at it. I pay my bills, I have no loans, I care for and help other people without expecting anything in return and I enjoy life. I don’t go around hurting other people and then act like I didn’t do anything wrong and that its their own fault. My self respect is worth more then respect or acceptation from and by people who are the opposite of all the above. I just wonder what those people see in the mirror, I guess I will never know.
My brother, right now, I don’t really want to have anything to do with him at the moment. I have been through enough bullshit in my life and really don’t need people to add a new portion of drama to it. Going back now to just do my own thing and to my peace of mind, hoping that no one is going to bother me about it anymore.
