{"id":85,"date":"2009-02-03T21:09:48","date_gmt":"2009-02-03T20:09:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.whisperedwords.nl\/?p=85"},"modified":"2009-02-03T21:09:48","modified_gmt":"2009-02-03T20:09:48","slug":"the-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/?p=85","title":{"rendered":"The Truth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Something came up \u00a0for discussion and I decided to do some research on the subject, yes I&#8217;m a girl who does her homework&#8230;. \ud83d\ude42 So I&#8217;m gonna quote some parts I&#8217;ve found and that got my interest on the matter. Feel free to comment or leave critic if you don&#8217;t agree or just have a different opinion.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>What is the Truth?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">The truth is personal; it is what is so for you. &#8220;Truth&#8221; is not synonymous with &#8220;reality&#8221; or &#8220;facts.&#8221; As eloquently put by Anais Nin, &#8220;We don&#8217;t see things as they are. We see them as we are.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">The Truth is our own perception of reality, our own &#8220;story&#8221; of ourselves and the world. It is colored by our nature, experiences, perceptions, interpretations, etc. What is true for us may not be provable in the traditional sense, but to a considerable extent it defines us and how we think and interact.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">When you speak the truth to someone you share yourself with them in a very deep way. In sharing your truth you tell them who you are and what you really think.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">There are lots of reasons why we don&#8217;t always tell the truth. Let&#8217;s look at the most common reasons, what they are costing us, and how we can move past them if we choose to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Reasons Why You Might Not Tell the Truth:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>1. You don&#8217;t know the truth yourself<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">It stands to reason that you cannot share your truth if you are not aware of it. Many times we don&#8217;t know the truth of a situation simply because we have not asked ourselves, or examined, what we believe. And sometimes we don&#8217;t access our own truth because we would rather not know the answer!<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Telling the truth requires awareness. One method (suggested by Thomas Leonard) for becoming more aware of your own truth is to &#8220;Reduce or eliminate anything that clouds or numbs your ability to recognize truth as it emerges&#8221; (e.g., adrenaline, stress, excessive busyness, mind-altering drugs or alcohol, addictions, etc.). Another way is to consciously ask yourself what you believe to be true in each situation, and be willing to challenge yourself and your beliefs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">2. You fear the consequences<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Sometimes when you tell the truth there are potentially significant consequences either for yourself or others. You may find it easier to tell the truth only when it is non-threatening. But what is the hidden cost? When avoidance of consequences becomes paramount we end up only telling the truth when it is &#8220;convenient&#8221; and carry around with us an uncomfortable inventory of past censorships and un-communicated thoughts and feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Here are two ways you can evolve to allow yourself the luxury of being able to tell the truth:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">* Increase your Personal Standards and become a person who puts truth ahead of other priorities (e.g., goals, objectives, needs).<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">* Reduce the risks associated with telling the truth by building reserves in all areas of your life (e.g., time, space, money, friends, etc.) so that you can afford the consequences of the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">3. You think the other person will not hear, or be able to handle, the truth.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">You can control how you speak your truth, but you cannot control how someone else hears, interprets, or reacts to it. In trying to protect or shield another from the truth you are in effect diminishing them &#8211; restricting their access to important information and downplaying their potential for resiliency. If you speak the truth with compassion and let the other person know you are coming from a place of wanting only the best for them, chances are they will be able to take what you are saying in a positive way and draw upon their own internal resources to react appropriately. Don&#8217;t underestimate them. Show your belief in their ability to handle it. Offer them the gift of your truth and give them the opportunity to surprise and delight you with their response.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">4. You don&#8217;t want the other person to tell you their truth.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Sometimes you just don&#8217;t want to ruin a perfectly good, but superficial, relationship by starting to tell the truth. After all, if you tell your truth, it is only equitable that you allow the other person to tell theirs. And what are the risks to that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">* The other person might say something which conflicts with your view of the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">*The other person might criticize you or what you do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">*You risk deepening the relationship by telling the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">How can you overcome your fear of hearing the truth of another? The following are a few techniques that can prove helpful:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">*Recognize that each person has their own truth, and approach their truth with curiosity instead of fear. Realize that their truth need not invalidate your truth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">*Learn to hear criticism not as something to be avoided but as instruction on what it takes to win!<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">*Recognize that if you deepen the relationship you will be free to be who you really are without pretense and without expending energy to keep up your facade and walls. In a deep and honest relationship you can clearly state what it is you need and want, and your requirements are more likely to be heard and met by the other person.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>The bottom line.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Telling the truth requires skills and awareness; awareness to know your own truth, and the communication skills to express it in a way that touches another &#8211; not with brashness and brutality but with compassion, kindness, and subtlety.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Source: <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.witi.com\/growth\/2005\/truth.php\" target=\"_blank\">WITI<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #00ccff;\">Off course there&#8217;s more from other sources.:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #00ccff;\">I wont quote this one because I believe this should be read as a whole. Its \u00a0a real large file so I suggest just click the link.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #00ccff;\">Heres a interesting document about the truth in PDF format: <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.agts.edu\/faculty\/faculty_publications\/articles\/lim_telling_the_truth.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">Telling the truth &#8211; Does it pay?<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #00ccff;\">And another :<strong> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jenniferlehrmft.com\/id27.html\" target=\"_blank\">Telling the truth: creating authentic relationships<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Sometimes it is hard to tell the truth because:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">* \u00a0We don&#8217;t trust our perceptions.<br \/>\n* \u00a0We are afraid of hurting the other person.<br \/>\n* We are afraid we will make them angry or they will abandon us.<br \/>\n* \u00a0We don&#8217;t realize that relationships are about relating.<br \/>\n* \u00a0We have been taught to take care of others by not being ourselves.<br \/>\n* We assume that we are 100% responsible for the relationship.<br \/>\n* \u00a0We see ourselves as powerless in the relationship.<br \/>\n* \u00a0We are afraid of being transparent, real and seen.<br \/>\n* \u00a0We are afraid of our power.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">If we don&#8217;t tell the truth, the other person has no way of knowing who we are, what we are thinking or feeling, or how they are impacting us. We assume (perhaps unconsciously) that they do not have the ability to navigate through their own feelings in response to us. Although this may be true, by not telling the truth, we rob them of the opportunity to rise to the challenge of relating to who we are, of having a truly authentic relationship with us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Learning to tell the truth is a big process. Often we have been taught since we were little to put other&#8217;s feelings ahead of our own. \u00a0We have been taught that relating is being the same as the other, rather than allowing our differences. In order to alter this and honor ourselves, we need a new perspective. \u00a0We need to know that as we take action and speak the truth in a way that empowers us, our lives will re-align. Our actions have impact and allow us to change, creating our lives. \u00a0We are no longer held hostage by our fears of voicing ourselves, of being seen. \u00a0As we become truthful, those we interact with get to choose whether or not they can also step up to the challenge. \u00a0In either case our relationships will change. We will become closer to those, who whether they like it or not, support hearing our truth and honesty. These relationships will deepen and we will no longer feel as alone. We may lose relationships with those who do not want to hear how they affect us, who do not want to know who we are. \u00a0When this happens, we may experience grief. Rather than being trapped in resentment, or fear, we have the opportunity to grieve and let go of our expectations, accepting the limitations of that person and relationship. A reorganization of our lives and relationships occurs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\">How do you not tell the truth? \u00a0Look at someone in your life who you don&#8217;t talk to directly about his or her impact on you. \u00a0Imagine telling them something they do that is difficult for you. \u00a0Notice what feelings come up: discomfort, fear, shame? \u00a0Notice how you choose the feelings associated with not telling the truth: frustration, feeling trapped etc, rather than the feelings that emerge when you do tell the truth. \u00a0Both sets of feelings are uncomfortable, but one will lead you to freedom and authentic, healthy relationships, and the other will keep you trapped and dis-empowered. \u00a0It is your choice. What kind of relationships do you want to have? \u00a0What kind of life do you want to live?<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">And this is what I want to leave it at. There&#8217;s much more to be said about telling the truth or keeping information. Especially when ppl are real close to us it matters more If you tell the truth or not. Then again&#8230; You never know who the other person is and at what place they might find them self one day. Some day you may have to depend on the other. And wont you wish you had dealed with a situation differently?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Thank you much for your interest in my blog. Hugs, Ela<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Something came up \u00a0for discussion and I decided to do some research on the subject, yes I&#8217;m a girl who does her homework&#8230;. \ud83d\ude42 So I&#8217;m gonna quote some parts I&#8217;ve found and that got my interest on the matter. Feel free to comment or leave critic if you don&#8217;t agree or just have a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[267,401,498,529,619,669],"class_list":["post-85","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","tag-feelings","tag-life","tag-personal","tag-power","tag-story","tag-truth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=85"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=85"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=85"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=85"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}