Many a times I have been told I am beautiful, most times ever most likely by my ex bf. He was good at that, would tell me about everyday and often more as once that i am beautiful. I felt it when he used to tell me this and I believe he meant it. Still I don’t see what he saw when I look in the mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My face is not mine that I see in the mirror, I see the face of the person my abusers took advantage of, the face of humiliation, weakness, being unworthy, the face of ugly. I don’t feel pretty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I look in the mirror I see my wounds, my pain, the lost time and all the abuse I suffered. I don’t like looking in the mirror. I don’t like looking at my face. I never was my h of a person to make selfies. Not untill my last relationship and most of those selfies I made for him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn’t believe me but now I look at my Instagram and my picture library on my phone that I don’t take selfies anymore almost. I still can’t really stand looking at myself. I guess that’s another thing my cosplay helps me with or is it working the opposite? Does it only aid me into hiding my face from myself? I don’t know but I do know I don’t feel beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Should this worry me? Am I falling back? I think I make progress in my healing looking at how I got more control over my anxiety and fears. I’m still overthinking, that’s obvious… Right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Many a times I have been told I am beautiful, most times ever most likely by my ex bf. He was good at that, would tell me about everyday and often more as once that i am beautiful. I felt it when he used to tell me this and I believe he meant it. Still […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3336"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3337,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3336\/revisions\/3337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}