What happened to me in the last few days has seriously retraumatized me. and I need to pack myself together again rappidly before I fall back more into my depression. I don’t know how. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everytime new “friends” get involveved, sometimes purposedly because we or I tried to find someone to talk to and at other times I get blamed that those people are at fault for the problems and I lose the people I have been trying to befriend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am scared of my own judgement now and afraid I lose my mind. Paranoya about who I can trust and who not. Scared about anything I say because it can be seen out of context and backfire on me. I am scared and just long for safety. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A moment where I can relax n takes a breath of calm and peace, a little breeze of happiness. I have been trying to find that in sleep but I keep waking with panic attacks and during the days my anxiety is reaching top levels. I am so freaking stressed out. I’m emotionally drained and physically too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have never been someone to look to others to save me but I am getting there. I’m feeling like a helpless child in a grown body, ridiculous and worthless. Yet there is no one to reach out to anymore. What am I gonna do? Sighs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today another appointment for my new therapy which I don’t even know what it is or when it supposed to start. I don’t want to go. I am tired of fighting. This battle I can’t win is ongoing. It’s like a cancerous disease. Lifetaking and exhausting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What happened to me in the last few days has seriously retraumatized me. and I need to pack myself together again rappidly before I fall back more into my depression. I don’t know how. Everytime new “friends” get involveved, sometimes purposedly because we or I tried to find someone to talk to and at other […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2942"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2942\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2944,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2942\/revisions\/2944"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whisperedwords.nl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}